Approval is a Moving Target

Don't we all want everyone to think we're amazing? I know I do. I've always been a pleaser and an approval-seeker, both personally and professionally.

I want everyone to think I'm the best mom, writer and business owner out there. I want them to tell me that every time I ask and even when I don't. I want every idea I present to be met with instant amazement.

I want everyone to think, "How can any one person be this PERFECT??"

2018 was a year of lessons for me. It was a difficult transition, but there were so many things I needed to learn. But possibly the most important lesson I needed was this:

You will never get everyone's approval and if you try you will be constantly disappointed.

Think about it. Everyone's standards are different. No one's goals are the same. Everyone has a different set of experiences that have gotten them to where they are. So, what they think is right or what they approve of is, in many cases, going to be different.

A while back I was talking to a close friend about a new idea I had to expand my business. I expected this epiphany to be met with complete wonder and admiration, but instead what I got was a very lukewarm response...tepid enough to make me question whether or not I should do it.

In short, I felt like she didn't approve.

Fortunately, I snapped out of it pretty quickly. I didn't need this person's approval or endorsement on this project. I reminded myself that I'm the expert when it comes to my business. I don't need anyone else's approval but my own. And I think it's a damn good idea.

Seeking approval is something that will never get you further in business or in your personal life. It takes work on your part to have a clear vision of who you are and what you want and the ability to be so focused on that goal that it really doesn't matter if someone walks up to you and says, "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard of."

But if you don't have that vision...you're going to spend a lot of your time chasing after the moving target of outside approval and validation.

And you don't have time for that.