What do 7 Strippers and a Moose have in Common? Changing the way men view the minivan.

There’s a problem out there. And I believe good marketing could fix it.

I am the PROUD owner of a new minivan. I’ve had the SUV. I’ve had the sports car. My husband and I have owned Jeeps and trucks. But the one car that I have truly loved is the minivan.

Perhaps that’s why I’ve become so hyper-sensitive to the look of – is it condescension? Pity? Exasperation? – on the faces of my male friends when I strap myself into into my deluxe, 8-seater ride and leave their little Ford 350s in the dust.

I know it’s not just a male thing; there are women friends I know who would never go near owning a minivan. However, I DO think that most women have the ability to get over themselves and recognize the fact that strapping three kids into car seats while hauling a week’s worth of groceries and the family St. Bernard is just easier when you have automatic sliding doors (incidentally, those doors come in handy when you’re carrying a case of wine, too).

For the most part, I think it’s a male-perpetuated stigma that I find really unnecessary. And I think if Toyota, Honda, Chrysler…all of the major minivan power players (I think we can leave Volkswagon out of this) would just step up their marketing game, we could really change how people view the family truckster.

From a female perspective, I found the fact that Mark Wahlberg proudly announced on Ellen Degeneres that he drives a Toyota Sienna my own personal catnip. AND, just to prove how powerful this stigma can be, I actually told a guy on a first date that I was picking up my new van the next day just to see what he said and without missing a beat he exclaimed, “I LOVED my minivan. I drove the wheels off that thing.”

That guaranteed the second date.

Now I just want to make a point to all of you minivan poo poo-ers and show you what you’re missing.

Did you know you could haul….

At least six kegs of beer…

 

…a new water heater AND furnace (I have personally done that one)…

 

…a small to mid-size moose…

 

…and seven strippers…

 

…in your minivan???

And it’s not like it has to be standard! You can lift it, lower it, light it up, and make it do the cha-cha. With all that extra space, you can finally fit those subwoofers that wouldn’t fit in that crappy Hyundai you had when you were 16! Need a cold one as you’re driving down the highway? Get the option with that extra mini-fridge built into the car!

Really. The options are unlimited. Why in the WORLD would you opt for a Mustang that you have to grunt your way out of or that super-duty truck you STILL don’t know how to park?

The minivan is your ticket to the newer, drunker, handier, with an STD twist YOU!

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